What is an “ego”
There are many definitions of this word. The most famous one belongs to the field of psychology and the mental sciences. However, spirituality and self help books have provided a slightly different meaning.
The ego is something that when tapered down, and in healthy levels, can be seen as kinda helpful. It contributes partly to your self esteem and your desire to stand for yourself. Only few people carry those healthy levels within.
In spirituality literature, the ego can be seen as a little creature that lives inside you hidden in plain sight. Yet, no one knows it is there. Its hiding mechanics rely on one sole principle: that you identify with it. That you think you are it. That you believe you are your ego.
A weak monster
In reality it is very feeble, because it feeds from illusions. It enlarges itself when you try to win an argument, when you have something new and shiny to show to others so they can think “wow… what a successful guy!”. Not that doing those things is bad on its own. There is not bad or good per se in spirituality. But the big error is thinking that those things will bring you true joy and true fulfillment. Or in the case of always wanting to win an argument, that your mere survival depends on lessening others so you can stand on top of them.
That’s why many people after chasing something they longed for eons can experience a sense of unfulfillment that the logical mind cannot explain. Often this feeling grows larger over time until your ego tells you that you must acquire, fight, have, produce, or buy this next new thing, so you can (delusionally) get your “happiness” back.
The ego in business life
Here’s how and where this little monster can taint everything you think you do for yourself and ruin it for you. By identifying with your ego, often, what should be clear healthy goals become blurry. You may go the extra mile doing something that is not that healthy for you just to prove a naysayer wrong. Or to have a flashy shiny material belonging to show. Or to be able to say within your group of friends “I make X or Y per year” knowing that the rest make less than you.
One consulting client of mine (I clearly rejected him) came to me with his startup idea. While doing a discovery session, instead of walking me through his business model, he kept repeating that his main goal was hitting the Forbes 30 Under 30. (That’s the ego!)
This little examples are just to showcase its devious dynamics. The same mechanics can be tainting literally EVERY biz decision. From hiring or firing collaborators. To acquiring more debt. To overworking yourself to death. And when things in business fail, your entire life starts to fail. Many “gurus” teach you to keep family life and business in separate compartments. That’s just bonkers! You are ONE same human being. You can improve in that area, but eventually you must reach a healthy balance in every aspect of your life. And to do that you must start with self acceptance.
Doing things to prove yourself right, while paying the cost of that unnecessary trip with precious energy, is fatal. It is energy that you could have invested elsewhere. In your own health, in your own peace of mind, in quality time.
That’s why I love mixing solopreneurship and spirituality. At least to me, these 2 components present me with very usable tools and contexts to reach that balance more easily. And when I lose it, I can gain it back with more simplicity compared to when I was a corporate rat, chasing Success Factors meaningless goals, and having to please a boss that saw people as assets first (all of them never as smart as him) instead of human beings.
How to master your ego
The mere fact that this article caught your attention means that you have the necessary depth to recognize it in yourself. Any sort of spiritual practice, which by the way has NOTHING to do with religion, will only move you closer.
Observing and becoming aware that you ARE NOT your ego is major progress.
This way you can quickly detect where its dark roots may be sneaking in.
A great spiritual practice is to let someone who crossed you get away with it. Or someone that “schooled” you in public to prove you wrong (even if you know for a fact they are wrong) to let them walk away with it, while you remain at complete peace.
There you will see and prove that nothing was lost. You were not lessened. Others cannot truly demean you or your true essence.
You can meditate (transcendental or active methods)
You can contemplate while you take a walk
You can do breathing exercises
Or you can do whatever relaxes you while being present*
*this means not having exhaustive conversations with your mind. Simply deeply connect with the activity.
All of these practices will help you make the right business calls that will serve your purpose instead of your ego.